By Elizabeth New
A few things I’ve learned since my life changed unexpectedly two years ago…
• Trials in life force us to face countless tough decisions and realities. Though most trials are not easy or enjoyable, God can use them to refine us, as if removing impurities. Having experienced hardship of any kind makes you more sensitive to the needs of others.
• Suffering creates stark contrast between what is important and what is not.
• It is possible (and biblically commanded) to experience great heartbreak simultaneously with immeasurable joy. “Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness.” James 1:2-3
• Frequently I have been humbled by the generosity, thoughtfulness, selflessness and support of innumerable people. I am so grateful my girls have witnessed friends offering to walk alongside us to share our journey. “Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.” Galatians 6:2
• Grief is intensely exhausting–emotionally, physically and mentally. The brain fog, memory lapses and time warp are very real. Be gentle and forgiving with people experiencing grief.
• Triggers for grief can be unpredictable, unwanted and unmanageable. Tears are an expression of love for someone you miss…unspent love that escapes from the corners of your eyes.
• Never underestimate the smallest kindnesses you can extend to others. It is appreciated by recipients and can be encouragement needed to get through that day. Love for and service to others requires sacrifice. “…let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth.” 1 John 3:18
• I am convinced that, as I walked through the darkest valleys, I was sustained by the Lord’s provision of strength, wisdom and comfort, and by the prayers of His saints. Even the days I did not “feel” the Lord’s presence, I knew the Bible’s promise that He would never leave or forsake me. (Deuteronomy 31:6) And at the end of each of the worst days, I knew I always had something to hope for and to be thankful for. “…but the LORD takes pleasure in those who fear him, in those who hope in his steadfast love.” Psalms 147:11
• Life is beautifully fragile and precious. Choose carefully how and with whom you will spend your time. Regrets can be painful consequences of unwise decisions.
Elizabeth New is a widow and mother of three beautiful little girls. She is a member of FCC.